Tuesday, October 21, 2014

When Things in Life go Tits-Up

Well, ya, I've just had that "life throws about a million curveballs" experience over the last few months. Ha, what fun times. Amazing the way it bunches up together as well. Really well played life. Good game ol' chap.

He's a sneaky little devil, too. Gets you all nice and comfortable and then WHAMOOO! Booosh! Bash!! Wallop! A flurry of punches leaves you bewildered, your is ass on the canvass, scrambling around frantically, looking for a familiar face in the crowd, some words of encouragement maybe, drool running down your face.

01/03/2013 British Lionhearts 2-3 Ukraine Otamans

I'm not gonna get too specific about it but I will say that the last few months have involved failing miserably by trying to get over a girl, back living with my parents again for a few months, moving out into a shared apartment only to find out weeks later that it's infested with bed bugs, a wisdom tooth decided NOW is THE best time to try and shove it's way through my face, the deadly disease "Ebola" decides to visit the town in which I work, and the scariest one of all is one of my close relatives ends up in a coma after an accident at work.

"Ya, we've got some Karma for this guy here. Whats say we deal it out in small little manageable bits? How do you wanna handle this Bill?"

"Godammnit Frank, I aint got time for this!!! Unload that shit! Have you seen the backlog lately?? These earth people are utter bastards to eachother! We need fast and effective emergency dumps or else total and complete chaos will follow!"

So, ya, fine, the guys up there are a bit busy I reckon. But it's no wonder why people turn to drugs and alcohol.

"Do you need a fast and easy solution to all of life's problems?? Well why not try out.....drugs and alcohol!! Our latest product! Our team of diabolically evil researchers have been working tirelessly to develop our latest formula, specifically designed to ease the pain of life's little misfortunes. Buy now and you will recieve a free supply of ,,,,,,,,,,shame and guilt, absolutely FREE! Terms and conditions apply. Always read the label. This product will severely impair your ability to function properly. We're talking depression, impotence, complete mind fucking, the whole shebbang. Don't come crying to us when things go wrong. We just want your money. "