Thursday, November 6, 2014

The "Talk Your Crap Out With Someone" Method

Frustration 

 OK, so there's been major upheaval in your life. It feels as though life has literally turned itself upside down. It feels as though the magnetic poles of your mind have mysteriously flipped their axis. Unrecognizable. And at the same time terrifying. Panic sets in. Pure isolation, even when surrounded by familiar people. For some reason, it seems that life chooses NOW as the best time to start throwing a million curve balls your way. And you can't quite dodge the rocks being hurled due to a numbing phenomenon which slows down your reflexes.

This "numbing" phenomenon is the result of falling off an "emotional cliff", in my opinion. The feeling part of you gets stunned. And you sit there wide eyed with a glazed look on your face. And no one seems to back off. A lot of "ego" types will jump at this opportunity to score a few points against you, brimming with self-confidence as they tally up small satisfactions. And you sit there thinking "You had to have a go now!?? I swear to God when I get back in shape you are going to pay heavily".

What happens to me specifically is that neurosis sets in. Over thinking. Replaying situations over and over again in my mind. There's a disconnect from reality. People's words don't seem to register fully. I think that there's no other way but for these thoughts to just come out. They have to. The danger is that this can set in strong, and over thinking may become your new default setting. Then life will be pure hell. With these thoughts all triggering negative feelings.

The thing that I try and do normally is come back to the present moment. In any way I can. When watching a movie, I go as far into observation as possible, where the obsessive thoughts slowly float away. But then, at another time, they might come back with a vengeance and kick my ass for a day or two. All these negative thoughts triggering negative feelings. And the more I try to "box in" these thoughts, the more pent up aggression and energy seems to build up, nearly to a boiling point. And this is where people snap and have major freak outs. So this present moment awareness works up to a point, but there's another method I've found that works along side present moment awareness. It's the "talk all your crap out with someone"method. It acts like a release valve.

Just sit their with a good friend or family member with the intention of getting out whatever needs to come out. Approach it intuitively. When you start off it will be awkward. But keep going. The conversation starts to become more fluid and natural. Eventually your thoughts are flowing at rapid velocity and it feels like you're going to a find some profound insight. You probably will. Keep it going. And then at a point it becomes overkill and you just have to stop when it feels like you should.

The feeling after is of huge relief. You've gotten everything off your chest. You walk around carrying less weight. We have a weird culture sometimes of keeping everything in until the explosion happens. Whatever has to come out will come out. Sometimes violently. You can either stuff it all in to the pressure cooker, or slowly release all the pressure by "talking about whatever needs to be spoken about" out of you. In a healthy way.