Sunday, May 24, 2015
How to Break Obsessive Thinking and Worrying
Well, I have full-blown, over obsessive, over thinking, worrying too much, whatever the technical name for it is called, characteristics. It´s just a mind that has a natural tendency to break away from reality and journey on into fantasy land. Sometimes fantasy land is a nice place. Sometimes it is pure hell. It feels similar to a maze really. Or a long dark tunnel. And when I finally get that eureka! moment where I figure out how break free of it (present moment awareness) I start to realize how much of my life (maybe the previous few months, maybe as much as a year) I have wasted being stuck in the maze of my own obsessive thoughts.
It´s a tiring experience of always trying to find the answer to something. And it feels like the answer is always just around the corner. Searching, searching. The internal imagery which I associate with the experience is dry and arid. Like walking a desert looking for something. And finally I figure it out again "AAhhh!! Present moment awareness!" and I jump into what feels like a deep ocean of knowingness, or basically, just a better feeling experience. It´s just better than whatever the hell I was going through before.
My strategy, when in the midst of overly obsessive thinking, is to sit down and give my undivided attention to something external. Some meditate and focus on their breathe. I find this kind of boring so I "meditate" or pay attention with pin point accuracy to say.....the radio. Especially talk radio. I love just laying down and listening to the guests they have on; current affairs, sports, entertainment, world news etc, hell anything just to get out of my own mind. It´s an excellent way to get perspective in life. I also get the feeling that it kinda connects me to the world and the collective consciousness.
The really tricky, frustratingly nightmarish thing sometimes is GRADUALLY falling out of this present moment awareness state. Slowly, gradually into ignorance. Basically. I start to think more than observe. And slowly over time these thoughts start to cloud reality. And soon, this thought storm is so thick that I cannot pay attention to ANYTHING! The gradual aspect to this phenomena is really hard to detect. The way I combat this is with notes. I keep a list of important principles and ideas which I constantly refer to to "keep on track". Write it on paper. Save it somewhere on the computer. Wherever. Just always have it around. The foundation really is good habits. Good solid concepts to ground yourself and get a solid footing in life. Then when that´s nice and firm, you can build on top of that. On to better things.